defeating my grey cloud - a poem

There was always problems behind every smile
even if I kept them well hidden for a while.
The horrid Grey Cloud then came in excess
I was so good at keeping it invisible to all the rest.

My inside voice, loudly, demanded so much
The outside reality, silently, was so out of touch.
I gave in to the cheap offer of defeat
That meant my life was ruled by self-hate on repeat.
On repeat.

Whats was the point in life when nothing felt good?
I could see no way out, no-one understood. 
I was in many a crowd, but still always alone
I didn't want to scare people, or be a weak 'man' and moan. 

Back then it felt so wrong to try and do what was right.
Now my deepest darknesses cast my brightest lights.
That same Grey Cloud has now defined every 'success'
I share my story to inspire, not impress.

Trust me, whoever you are, you're not alone in your inner fight
Every sad shadow can be banished with might.
Please Dare to Lead and persevere
Loving yourself truly can conquer that Grey Cloud fear.
A mindset powered by purpose & dreams
Can change your world, or so it seems.
​
@JohnLoughton